Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Interrupting the Normal

I am preparing myself to interrupt the normal. Okay, okay....yeah, wondering what that means exactly, huh? I live in a rut...... a rut of consumption.

My husband & I laugh about the obsession I have with food. Do I weigh 200+ pounds? No...... would the average ordinary walking down the street person look at me and think I was fat? No.....especially not in this city. Actually, compared to the great vast majority here I am not at all overweight. But am I? Yes. Technically, by nutritional and health standards I have crossed over the line and am "obese!" Does that make me crazy? Yep. Does it make me crazy enough to want to fix it? Yep? Do I have the resolve, the drive, the self-control to accomplish this? Not right now.
My husband falls on the floor laughing about watching me in a grocery store.....he says it's almost orgasmic, my delight with the adventure! Crazy, the lens others see us through. But he's right....and it makes me laugh out loud as I write this.

But I now have health issues that demand I pay attention to this issue. As a nurse, I know what I face should I not gain some control here. As a woman, it really irritates me to want to be the "who" I am physically and have allowed myself to "unbe" that person! So.....do I now have resolve to "go there?" Can I climb that mountain? Do I want to climb that mountain? Yep. I want to. Am I resolved? Sorta....... so I am now on a journey to become.... willing.... to really have the resolve to allow GOD to lead me on this journey of faith. Because that's what this really is......surrendering to Him and who He's called me to be. To behave as royalty and an heir of the Kingdom of Heaven.
So, I purchased two items to guide me through, from two very faithful members of my eternal family, Lisa TerKeurst and Chris Seay.....both bold pioneers with courage and a call from our LORD to share their understanding and insights.

I now borrow from Lisa's foreword in Chris' book "A Place at the Table.....40 days of Solidarity with the Poor"......

Like Lisa, I feel ordinary and that's ok. But it's never been ok for me with the things of GOD or His Kingdom....never. There is one area I have yet to surrender to Him and that is this one of eating. He makes all things good, but what we do with them and how we do it determines what is ok for us and not......
So, now I enter preparation stage.....

His very extraordinary presence has invaded my very ordinary place here.......
so now I intend to let GOD "interrupt the ruts of normal. The normal that keeps us distracted and blinded & without expectation of something more. But one thing is certain: the something more we're made to experience with GOD can only be found outside the ruts" (Seay, 2012, p. 10).

"....this journey isn't about our power, strength of character, or self-control. It is a journey of surrender to GOD that will usher us from rut dwelling to transformed living" (p. 11).

I want this to be a time to "stop the rut of constant inhale. Taking in, taking in, taking in. It clogs the soul" ...... so I want to "learn to exhale with great thanksgiving. To ponder what GOD might bring close during this" time, and yes, 'sigh!' fast.

"For this place where our souls breathe and dream once again" (Seay, 2012, p. 11).


Dreaming.......
Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....

















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