Tears of Joy

Okay....it's official.....I am touched to the core of my being. Why? Well......struggling with the diabetes issue has been a bugger. Why? Because:
1. I hate being to told what to do.
2. I hate planning anything, particularly food.
3. I did this to myself and I haven't quite forgiven myself.
4. Focus and discipline are the two qualities that I am currently working on and have not obtained in the least......at least it feels that way, particularly related to well, just about everything right now except the fact that I love my LORD with everything in me.

Okay....so why am I touched right now? "Touched" not meaning knocked crazy in the head....but my heart swells with appreciation of the eloquence of the words of others and with the grace and mercy that GOD pours into my life daily.....yes....daily.

So, having given myself a bit of a go on my own with little resources or assistance to adhere to a balanced dietary intake that keeps me feeling light and good and, well, let's just say, it has not been one of my more glorious undertakings. So, after praying this morning what do I stumble over on the web that eluded me previously? Yep.....the exact resources I needed. I guess I was not truly ready for them prior to today. Sometimes it takes the stubbing of a toe to succeed.

So.....yes......life is good. Opening up the lovely organizer my sweetie gave me at Christmas, I turned to a quote I took down when I started school and it has been quite inspirational to me all this time. It brought tears to my eyes this morning because the gentle nudge the website I discovered gave me about just getting back up and moving forward.....that it was not an unusual thing to "fall off the wagon" and the importance of just moving forward. With that said:

"My energy is in proportion to the resistance it meets. We attempt nothing great but from a sense of the difficulties we have to encounter.... we persevere in nothing great but from a pride in overcoming them."
~William Hazlitt~

I don't even know who this William is, but I am going to find out after I post this.....he said it good, huh?
And then the calendar page from a recent day had another lovely quote on it:

"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed."
~Corita Kent~

Yet another person I shall check out. Her name is familiar; so is William's. It will probably be one of those "oh yeah, now I remember them" moments. Fun times.....fun times.....

Sharoni
....giving voice to those with none....

Ripple Effects of a Life

With each decade of a life come new considerations. This morning a reflective question in my current Bible study in Ruth (which has been absolutely awesome, for sure!) gave me pause. As I began to list my thoughts and feelings about my own legacy, the fact that it kept growing and growing and growing just astounded me. Who knew? I certainly had never given it this kind of thought before. Oh, I've prayed about leaving a legacy that honored the LORD....why else would I be here? My lifelong prayer and focus has been to bring honor to His Name, Glory to His existence, and to be useful to Him to establish and develop the Kingdom of GOD.

And then I saw it....the ripple effects that a life has on all it touches. We never know. We never know. Like the motion the water takes on as the wind or even a slight breeze touches it. The ripples that emit from a bird landing or a fish surfacing for air. The thrust from a boat cutting through the body of the water. And then there is the pebble effect. It is perhaps my favorite. Pebbles have to be tossed in by someone....me, for example. I liken the pebble effect to those times throughout normal daily activities we smile at a person, we address someone with a greeting or carry on an uplifting conversation with a stranger. We never know the actual effect it has on their life. Given that the majority of my conversations with strangers these days are held in a hospital, I can only imagine what chaos their lives may be in. The kindness of strangers is never to be taken lightly. I know the effect that a smiling face, a kind word, a gentle touch has on me .... just in passing ... random acts of kindness.......

So, my commitment to always carry light and love, no matter in what dose, everywhere I go is not a light (no pun intended) thing. It has the potential for eternal effects. Ripple effects........
of a life.

Just call me GOD's little pebble.

Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....

Courage Within

As I began the current class, I did so with a bit of trepidation. It focuses on education. I wondered about my concerns...almost intimidation over the subject matter, and then it hit me.....this is what I always thought I wanted to do....teach. If I did not do well, or if I really struggled with the concepts in this class, would that be the end of my dream? Am I really reaching too far outside myself?

Moving through the information, looking at the requirements, I continued to wonder. Then one morning I had that "ah-ha!" moment. That time when the realization that whatever I truly desired would be. And as I think about everything that has been under discussion during the first week of this class I come back to a very basic and elemental thought. What one desires, one can achieve, regardless of circumstances, regardless of feelings. Even in fear. These thoughts are motivated by a captivating movie I just saw...the new Karate Kid. Here is a boy with a desire. His desire is to find acceptance, and not be beaten up any more. He does not want to be afraid. But while he was looking for a way this could happen he found a friend, and a new interest. He could learn Kung Fu. Now, he was in a country where children started learning this discipline as a way of life at a very young age. He comes in with another cultural outlook and an interest which quickly became a desire. And he ends up looking at a fight for his life.

This taught me that anything is possible if you desire it. You can achieve your desire even in the face of great fear. You can allow your courage to empower that which is deepest within you to conquer that fear as you come face to face with it. And you can discover a new passion out of your desire.

As teachers, really great teachers, what we can do is help our pupils learn to discover that desire, and then how to unlock the desire within. I know, as I was growing up, the most inspirational teachers of mine saw raw talent inside me, encouraged me in it, I developed desire to obtain something because of it, and then it became passion for me. And I did it through courage. Yes, it can be terrifying. Yes, it can even be painful, but it is always, always worth the effort. That's how we learn. That's how we grow. And that's what teaching and learning are all about....unlocking the courage within.

Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....

Territories

This is a very cool time in my life....finding my "home" professionally.....working toward my master's degree.....the future possibilities are endless......and life is just plain ol' good, even with the IRS irritating us! Why can't they pick on somebody who actually has money they owe them, and leave money in the pockets of people who actually work for a living and honestly pay their taxes????
(a little off the subject here, a little ranting and, it's over!)

I have been reading the little book by Bruce Wilkinson called, "Beyond Jabez." Kathy so graciously loaned it to me. It is encouraging and irritating me at the same time. Why irritate? Because I want my prayers for my loved ones to be answered immediately, and without further struggle! Who am I kidding???? I know better than this! GOD has His own time for everything, because, and let's get real here for a minute, with Him there is no time! He is seasonal, He is full of life, but in Heaven, time does not exist. It is a creation of man, for man's sake, for man's own "convenience," and let's face it.....it has been a dismal failure, much like all of our own creations for our own benefit! GOD created cycles for us.....the rising and setting of the sun....the day....the seasons.....the tide.....the rotation of the earth in space.....but He did not create clocks. And while on that subject, let me just say that I absolutely adore clocks. They are fun. I don't like being a slave to clocks, but the older I get, I notice that they are moving more rapidly than ever before in my life! What's up with that? Obviously, my mind is all over the place this morning.

So, I will get straight to the point: I am on the section about enlarging territories. I cringe at this so often. I know that enlargement comes after and with growth, and that growth, more often than not, is painful to my flesh! I do not like pain. Jabez prayed for GOD to not allow him to cause pain, but he didn't ask for no pain. Way to go, Jabez! (she says sarcastically)
So, the little bit of "Much Afraid" that still exists within my soul, shies away from expansion in intercession once again. I could address the key that the LORD gave me as a gift this past Christmas. I could address the little whispers of release He has softly spoken in my ear about gates of the city.....I could address my excitement at possibilities of Kingdom glory I see in my spirit. But, I shall not. I shall not because little "Much Afraid" still cowers from pain. BUT, I know what my GOD can do.....I have seen it over and over and over again.
I will, however, keep the words spoken to me close to my heart, and meditate on the scriptures He is leading me to memorize and bask in during this season. I will, at some point, relinquish all my fears and let go, and let Him do His thing through me. Until then, geesh! Why hesitate? I don't do pain.

You have already enlarged my territory. You have already given me the key. I am at Memorial City.....the whole house, every weekend.......I will walk those halls....all of them, carrying with me the Glory of GOD throughout that house!
And for that I say:

"Thank You! Everything in me says 'Thank You!'
Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing Your holy temple and say it again; 'Thank You!' Thank You for Your love,
Thank You for Your faithfulness; thank You for Your Name, most holy is Your Word.
The moment I called out, You stepped in;
You made my life large with strength."
Psalm 138: 1-4
The Message

After this, what else is there to say? Really.

Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....

Let It Be With Me.......Just as YOU say

I was reviewing my scripture memory this morning (thank you, Beth, for getting me inspired and rolling with hiding GOD's Word in my heart again!) and one particular verse stood up and smacked me good! I am memorizing it in both the NIV and The Message versions......yes, I know that The Message is not a translation.....what difference does it make? It is an inspiring "reading" version in modern day lingo of the scriptures that is very refreshing. Eugene Peterson made a comment at the end of his Preface that resonnates with me strongly this morning. "GOD, let it be with me just as You say." I can think of no greater daily prayer than this. GOD says to love one another......"LORD, let it be with me just as You say"..... GOD tells us that if we see a brother in need to give him not only our coat but our cloak also...."LORD, let it be with me just as You say"..... Jesus taught us that if we see our brother thirsty, give him a drink of water "LORD, let it be with me just as you say"...... the scriptures tell us to love the Lord our GOD with all our heart, all our mind, all our strength......"LORD, let it be with me just as You say"..... the scriptures tell us to love our neighbor as ourself......"Oh LORD, let it be with me just as You say!" Point taken!

"GOD wants the combination of His steady, constant calling and warm personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever He will do next."
Romans 15:4
The Message

Isn't this precious? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that, "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." My prayer is that my opinion of the world will reflect GOD's opinion of the world.....that every person is precious in His eyes, that He loves them unconditionally, and that He wants us all to participate in His Kingdom. There is beauty all around us and we can choose to dwell on it, or we can allow ourselves to focus on the antithesis of it and see only the negative and ugly in the brokenness. I refuse, yes, refuse to be sucked into the vortex of negative thought and sight. No, not totally "Pollyannaesque" because we have to clearly see to "fix," but a realistic view through the lenses of hope.

"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and (the) encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
Romans 15:4 NIV

LORD, let it be with me just as You say.......

Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....

That Which Gives Us Sight

This morning I watched a little boy receive his sight. From birth he had never seen....he never knew the difference between darkness and light except for the warmth of the sun on his face and the coolness of the night.
God incidents.....
Those moments that happen only so that we may see Him ..... see His Love .... see His Glory.
He designs the "chance encounters," the happenings of each and every day so that we may see Him ... see how He works .... see how He loves .... see how He leads and guides every step we take. During those times I am impatient for answers, the times I stomp my little foot and cry out, "What is going on here, huh? Did you lead us here, for what?" During those times He always calms me with, "Sharoni, what do you need right now that you do not have?" I have yet been able to give an answer other than, nothing, LORD, absolutely nothing. Then He opens my eyes yet again as I look around at the absolute abundance that surounds me and I fall on my knees in gratitude and humility that I have once again missed the entire point of my life here, and give Him thanks and praise for reminding me so gently.

My husband is deaf. His eyesight is critically important to him, and when it is affected in any way, it takes every ounce of strength in him to remain sane - because of the fear. He has often said to me that he would rather be deaf than blind. I find that quite interesting. He tells me it is because he has learned to hear with his eyes. And he hears far more than I probably ever will....he hears what people are really saying....not necessarily what is coming out of their mouths. That is both a gift and at times he feels, a bit of a curse. I cannot imagine what that must be like because I want to believe everybody, all the time. Wisdom teaches us better and we live by those lessons but oh......I wish!

That brings us back to sight ..... this morning Jesus was talking to me about that. Interesting the pathway He led me along .... from the scripture in Hebrews, to the post on a list of a prophetic word from the LORD regarding how the church is to love .... to a link to a conference coming up here in Houston in a week! .... to a link to a video where I cried through the blessing of the gift of sight given by Christ Jesus to this precious little boy. These people have so little in the world ... but they do have each other ... they have their families. And as the world and the evil that is so pervasive encroaches on that which is most precious to them, in a little tent on a hill, GOD works His magic. His Love.

This morning the sun was shining. Not normally a rare thing here in Houston, but this winter has been a little gray.... more so than usual. When I saw it I was thrilled! What a glorious blessing to awaken to full sun ... a storm raged outside last night. The principle that Father reminded me of today is that the sun will always appear after the darkness. It has to ... He has set that in place. We are circular down here on Earth ... everything is set on a cycle with nice flowing lines ... it revolves. DNA is free-floating throughout the air non-stop .... GOD's creative power is available at all times.
What we see with our eyes is not necessarily all that there is to see. I am ready for more illumination, my LORD. That which gives us sight ..... faith ......
Believe.

Sharoni
....giving voice to those with none....

The Blessing of If

Such a tiny little word with so much potential. One little conjugation, two letters, packing so much punch. Mr. Webster tells us that if could indicate, "in the event that......allowing that..... on condition that.....even though ..... it is also used as a function word to introduce an exclamation expressing a wish ...."
In this case, the if that captured my fancy this morning was related to a special place in GOD's Word ~ the book of Deuteronomy. I have these words written at the top of the page of Deuteronomy 28 .... The blessing of If .... The entire passage is GOD's iteration of His Covenant with us. He wants to bless us. So He gives us the ifs.....

"If you will listen diligently to the voice of the Lord your GOD, then....."
And the blessings are stated. Personally, I like all these blessings. I would much rather live and walk in the blessings of GOD rather that what follows ~ the but if.....
Oooooooooo....the but ifs aren't so much fun.
Basically it's like this; you listen to GOD and do what He says (not a big deal) and you are blessed beyond your wildest dreams. Or you don't, and it's not so pretty for you. All we have to do is look around us and see the lives people lead, the frustrations, the heartaches, the struggles, the anxiety, the fears, etc, etc, etc...... Personally this is a no-brainer for me.
Blessing or curse..... uh....DUH! I'll take Blessing, Alex for $1000. Actually, it's priceless. (sounds like a commercial? uh huh...)
But this is no commercial. It is eternal fact. If you will.......then I say.......
You have to read the book to get "the rest of the story."

The blessing of if . . . . . . I'm all about the if.

See you in the high places!

Sharoni
...giving voice to those with none....